SYNOPSIS OF BALANCE

It sort of took me about thirty minutes of uncomfortably sitting on a one-seater chair, sipping my home made tea (not coffee, because sometimes I wonder how people get things done by sipping coffee) made from a 20g of ‘Milo Chocolate’ and a full cream milk before resolving to the topic I present to you today. I was going to turn off the lights and call it a day, but the sound of achieving a write up sounded better than a short repeated unsatisfied bed time.

It was a Friday night in one of the rural areas of Ibadan, Oyo state where the lights got scarce and the noise of the prayer warriors steadily increased on a hill known to be called by the Yoruba People in Nigeria as “Ori-Oke Anu” (the Mountain of mercy) just beside a small place I call home as they prepared to engage their spirit man in an all night prayer session.

‘Mehn’ was I not prepared for another night of torture as other nights taught me that sounds from a hill in the cool of the night is just like gathering speakers used for concerts and stationing them outside your window blowing nothing but every breathe of their words into your struggling sleep.

Suddenly my eyes caught the swift entry of a cute little bird into it nest. Obviously, the little guy just got back from its trip of hustling just like every other human banging their doors waiting to be attended by food and or a properly arranged bed. So I wondered, How do we ever find balance inbetween work, family, religion, education, personal growth and development, sports, relationships & marriage, community and the nation at large etc?… I mean the list is just endless.

I can guess you have at one time in your life wished you had a twin who could represent you at an interview or a function, wished you could snap your fingers to get things done without moving an inch from where you comfortably sat, wished you could become an insect or something small to escape your present locations, wished you watched service at the comfort of your home, wished school was scrapped or reduced to a year program to secure the certificates and many more wishes.

Finding the balance just has a way of easing our stressful daily routine, elongating the peace of mind we have with ourself and others. An average man is occupied daily with several activities to carry out and still handover to the innocent incoming days procastinated task of previous days. The work place, being the most breathe-taking of all can reduce a man’s lifespan if balance is not found. Hence the need for casual leaves, sick leave (even if it was faked), annual leave and the likes.

Well, let me highlight at this juncture that I have not been certified a life coach to prove that all I will share with you will sustain you for a life time. Sometimes you have to experience the pain of it to reason what next to do yourself.

So here are some tips I found helpful in finding the balance so far.

1. FLOW WITH THE PROCESS (PERSEVERANCE): Some people don’t understand still the meaning of growth. Some want to have it all figured out at an early age and emerge world youngest ‘this and that’. The youth wanting to flaunt the best of luxuries with zero years of work experience, the couples want to give birth to all the children early forgetting family planning or better still make ‘mama’ proud by giving her grand-children, get employed January, promoted February, and become CEO in March, attend one life coaching seminar and expect to hit all the points all at once because someone shared their story and one way you are expecting your outcome to be similar to theirs... The tree was once a seed and took several seasons of rain, winter, summer and autumn to finally sprout out a leaf. You don’t emerge world most successful person at child birth. You have to undergo the process of growth, taking in the pains and the likes to achieve those goals. The process of learning and adapting, falling and taking corrections, rising to a renewed mind is what flowing with the process is. You don’t have to be seen by all as the man who got it right at an earlier life, but rather the man that took his time, flowed with the process and still emerged a success. The story “Perseverance — Success after Failure — The Tiger Woods Story can be Yours as Well” written by Stan Cromlish https://link.medium.com/FmOTmZwIoZ inspired me.
2. PLANNING AND REPLANNING: One great plan is great, but many others wouldn’t hurt. Have a plan for all you have to do, plan for school, plan for life after school; like getting an extra skill is not a bad idea aside your professional career, planing for your work place, planning for your home and family, plans for self growth and development. I used to believe new year resolutions aren’t going to work for me because by the end of January, I may have achieved those plans or changed my mind based on circumstances. So plan more for all you have to do ahead. You don’t have to have a great plan that will wao the world, but instead have a plan that will call the world to you for aid. Have you planned before, re-plan just one more time.
3. UNDERSTAND THE VALUE OF TIME (PRIORITIES): There is a saying that “time lost cannot be recovered”. One morning I woke up as usual to set out to work but I said to check few messages online. As I continued to scroll through and replied them, I checked the time and realised I had used almost an hour for what I didn’t plan for (by this time I was super late). If you lose your money you can still recover it, if you lose a property, you can still get it back, but if you lose your time, argh you have lost something difficult to regain. So know when to do what’s right at the right time. Don’t go hiking when you have an interview to prepare for or go fishing when you have an exam to read for. Misplaced priorities kills the plans you have and causes an imbalance of life. Some things are essential but not necessary. The sun and the moon shines distinctively but uniquely at appointed time for the benefit of all. Think of what you are doing now that you know is essential but not necessary, lay them all out and fix an appointment for them ahead (Re-Planning). If you choke yourself with a lot of activities, you will wear out faster and cause more than just imbalance in Life. Please remember that “Success is not by the volume of activities you are engaged in currently, but rather the excellence you put in on a singular activity”

Hey! it’s okay, you will get to understand the rest yourself better as you give yourself to self growth and development.

“Look around and you will find distractions everywhere, there are positive distractions and negative distractions, select which to invest in"

- Prof. Kenneth Ikenwa

Those were the words of a dear lecturer to me and I have been positive minded about all I do, the negative ones will cost your self happiness. Identify those negative distractions and seize to invest in them.

By the time I finished writing this, the prayer warriors have engaged in some hot jamming praises and I would love to dance in the comfort of my bed before I sleep. What a better way to enjoy a Friday night than clubbing (so I thought as an unexposed young lad)

Please comment and let me have your views about this write up. Communication is not complete without a feedback.

Gracias 😘