SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS AND PERSONAL BOUNDARIES

From CSAM on the importance of boundaries.

From birth till death, the society has through many years of perfection, built a culture and mental notion in the minds of all that co-exist on earth certain ways, manners, principles, guide, norms, values and beliefs on how to and how not to live. It has always been to exemplify what is to be referred to as “normal”. While a majority of the people has accepted this norms which are generally accepted and proven to keep the peace, sanity and orderliness of the society at large, a minor majority have found their personal abilities being stream-lined to the limitations of the societal expectations.

ANALOGY OF AN AVERAGE LIFE SPAN

To begin what will seem as an anti-societal movement, let us assume every Man and woman has an average of 100 years to live on earth. The aim is to estimate how much years the society will have determined and mandated what normal is for an average individual.

EDUCATION

“Normal” from a society point of view for an average individual after birth is to be enrolled into a pre-school, eventually learn the basic means of communication, acquire certain skills which will eventually determine your career pattern, graduate on and on through a system called education that bonds the basic elementary on to high school/ secondary school on to college/ higher institutions for many years regardless of what your gifts are or what your passion has always been. On many occasions, individuals have to spend longer period than the “expected normal” duration for the system called education. Graded by a system that is impartial on the abilities and limit of individuals who are not equal intellectually (intellectual capacity).

  • Elementary school — 6 years
  • Secondary school — 6 years
  • Tertiary Institution — 4/5/6/7 years
  • Service year — 1 year
  • Unforeseen circumstance — 1 year

TOTAL — 18/ 19/ 20/ 21/ 22 Years (subject to the ability of the student)

CAREER/ JOB

Now you have say 76 to 80 years left, part of which you will have to at one time, switch in-between jobs and career, professions and entrepreneurship. It is not certain that you will be a banker always and retire with a huge amount of pension or gratuity. You may at one time get to be an investor, moonlighter, entrepreneur, or just idle for many years uncertain about what really you want to do. Work so hard to provide for yourself and family and retire by 65 years. Fair enough but unable to travel the whole world before you die or change as many things as you want to because “bills” got married to you the moment you assumed responsibility as an adult. Look at the brighter side, you will at least grow to satisfy the emerging need to be something/ someone in the eyes of others (societal pressure).

FAMILY & MARRIAGE

This pressures more on the female gender than on the male. Some culture will have sold their daughters out for peanuts, arranged marriage ceremonies, or patiently wait for the girl child to finish their secondary/ high school before mounting the pressure of getting a life partner. The fact that she/ he is yet to get a hang of their “LIFE” yet and the pressure for a “Life Partner” is ever present baffles me till date. The society on its own pressures this ideology about marriage.

  • Dear millennials, get a responsible life (cause not all life is responsible) you may have desired and live in it for yourself first and not anyone before you get a life partner.

DECIDE! EXPLORE! DO MORE! NO LIMITS!

I remain yours always, Solanke❣️

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Solanke Lekan

Solanke Lekan

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Hi there, You got all the way here cause something caught your interest. Whatever it is, I am here to find out with you. My words are born from thoughts.