DEDICATION
“With joy in my heart, I dedicate this write-up to a dear sister of mine who also happens to have her birthday today, 14th September, 2019.
Happy Birthday Ajijala Busayomi. I wish you all the best in this new phase and pray that as you emerge fully into the adulthood, it will only be a journey for application of wisdom to scale through the good and the bad roads until you get to your desired destination.”
The line between infant and adulthood appears to be seemingly almost invisible. There is little or no pattern drawn to depict the transit between childhood and adulhood. As a matter of fact, they don’t include in our syllabus or scheme of work both in the high schools, colleges and higher institutions on 'how to become an adult' or 'transiting into adulthood’. This topics are also neither taught by parents or guardians and so we have a lot of young minds who find it difficult in moving from that child zone to the adult zone. Some talk it out with friends, some with trusted adults who may not be their parent but one way have gained their trust. Does it not marvel you as a parent that your kid(s) don’t share with you a lot about themselves from infatuated emotions to relationship matters, self esteem issues, public speaking and appearance, shady decisions made from bullying and peer pressures, but conveniently write it down in a diary, share with friends of their age group and or tell someone who has gained the 'icon/mentor' figure in their minds?
Not to say that you are failing as a parent/guardian, because one way you also experienced the same while as a child. So it’s a universal problem given to less attention globally in the academic world and society at large.
WHAT IS GROWTH?
Growth (growing up) do not require a scientific formula or a documented Step by step principle approved by ECOWAS, World Health Organization, European Union or the world at large. Growth is simply a passage to responsibilities (yes that’s how I see it).
Once, the Lion cub had to depend solely on his mother to hunt and bring food for him just as every other life species while in that infant stage. The process started from the incubating stage of carrying the cub in her womb, as he fed off what she ate and breathed in, but a time came to take the air in yourself, move, observe and see the life you are approaching, then came a time to wonder off yourself by hunting for food, getting a mate and doing the same for the next generation.
Evenmoreso it is for the human race. Basically taking responsibilities on behalf of an infant for it’s food, shelter and protection up until it can take appropriate responsibility of its own life.
RESPONSIBILITIES
The second definition given by the Oxford dictionary captivated my intuitions.
“Responsibility is the state or fact of being accountable …. to something”
It’s not just your decision making skills that makes you a responsible adult or young adult, it’s also not just your ability to plan and unplan, but the depth of responsibility is in the fact of taking or being held accountable for your decisions.
As a young adult/ already grown adult, you should be careful in the decisions you make and more so it’s consequences for at the end, your cross will be “accountability”. A cashier may know all the items in stock for sale and it’s prices, may have marketing skills and the likes but at the end of the day and time for accounting of the day’s sales, he/she will be held accountable for if a dim went missing. In responsibility, knowledge is not enough. You need to be accountable for every plan and action carried out.
“In Responsibility, Knowledge is not enough”
ADULTHOOD
The matured-hood, account-hood, responsible-hood (Do well to attach your own league of hoods as you deem fit).
The adulthood is a primitive of matured society. You don’t see a person who claims to be an adult either by appearance or by conduct exhibit traits of a child (immaturity). Every certified adult have a distinctive feature of a show of maturity both in word, conduct, character and appearance. When you separate an adult from maturity, you have an adolescent (immaturity)
So now the big question;
Are you growing Up or Growing Old?
Let me rephrase:
Are you taking responsibilities, are you accountable, do you see yourself as a matured person or are you only growing in size, height, number (if you know, you know) and strength?
(Hmm… I should have used the later as the topic instead now that I think about it...)
THE GROWTH MINDSET
Dr. Carol Dweck and her team briefed us about a research to boost the mindset of individuals especially students who don’t seem to do well in their studies consistently. Upon reading this studies, I found it applicable to the young minds who may need help in growing and transiting from childhood to adulthood.
THE MINDSETS
- The Fixed Mindset: People here, believe their qualities are fixed traits and therefore cannot change. Dr. Dweck narrates in her research that when a student has a fixed mindset, they believe that their basic abilities, intelligence, and talents are fixed traits. They think that you are born with a certain amount and that’s all they’ve got. So tell a young mind “you are good at dancing", such mind would believe and invest in his fixed traits of dancing and so do not explore the world of singing, photography and the likes. His mind would settle for dancing always and surely will do well in that field but still restricted by a fixed mindset.
- The Mixed Mindset: This kind of mindset was poorly narrated by Dr. Dweck but by research, this mindset as its name deduces, has a mix of a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. The people here do well in approaching challenges but on perseverance they try hard until they are faced with a struggle. They would need a strategy before they can overcome the obstacles. On criticism and feedback, they are inspired to do better but must consider the source of feedback before they can take it seriously. So here is the breakdown, if you have a mixed mindset, you have a urge to approach challenges that are not familiar by your fixed traits but still you undertake them. When faced with an obstacle in that challenge, you begin to source for strategies in order to overcome them. To reassure that you did well in that challenge you undertook or criticise the work done, you would need criticism or feedback from someone you look up to in that field as an expert or something. Once you do, every other obstacle will seem like showers of snow you just go through (though scary but yet still confident based on the feedback gotten from your trusted source). “I do hope that interpretation added value to its initial meaning”.
- The Growth Mindset: People here take on challenges, learn from them, increase their abilities and achievement. The mind here is not static, it’s not dormant neither is it fixed on a certain role. They are never contented with the trait they’ve got though satisfied with it. There is within a desire to do more and expand the knowledge they have. They challenge themselves by undertaking what they are not familiar with and need not the approval or feedback of an expert but rather from everyone possible. A student with such mind do not settle for academic excellence only but venture into other fields while retaining their records as the best student. A young mind with this mindset is mostly lucrative and adventful.
Please delight yourself more in reading about the Growth Mindset
You could have been growing Old but may also not have been growing Up. Guess what, you are not late at all. You can still change the game around and become even more better.
Take the Mindset Assessment and see where you need to start from.
To my most esteemed readers, the process of growth is a slow but yet a progressive one. Don’t settle and depend on your fixed traits only, but rather expand your capabilities by investing in yourself the more.
You are at your best now, but surely have the abilities far beyond your views to do even better. Dig in more.
Thank you for the time given to read this. I do hope it helped you.
Please do share with friends and don’t forget to give a clap.
Yours sincerely,
Solanke Olamilekan K.
