DEALING WITH REJECTION
In a way, you read this title and thought of your current rejection story, you remembered a time you were rejected or anticipating a result and you are already planning your mind towards rejection. I wish to write about “dealing with rejection” in two series. First will be about the work-life rejection while the next will centre around love-life.
The word rejection itself stirs fear and breeds low self esteem. It dampens the mind of her host and makes the bravest and most courageous of them all fall to tears or a low morale. In this series (work-life), we want to share those experiences we have had and identify ways to deal with rejection.
Let me come clean with you all. Rejection has no regard for any person’s religion, financial status, intelligence or even public status. Just because you finished with a “5.0” CGPA doesn’t mean all doors and employment opportunities will be opened to you immediately. Yes! you will be rejected at some point in your life. Yes! you will creatively build up a plan/ project only to be rejected by your sponsors/ investors. Yes! your boss will not always approve of your ideas and innovations. Yes! your plans may not always go as planned and you will feel rejected. Yes! you will begin to doubt your abilities and skills.
We plan and anticipate so much for the glamorous recognition, applauds, and appraisals that we often time do not give room for unexpected results. Don’t get me wrong now, no one actually plans to be rejected and i am not saying you shouldn’t expect the best from life but this unexpected events are seemingly unavoidable. They come in times when we think all is going so well, they come in times when we are still trying to heal from a previous rejection. Just when you lost so much from your previous investments and still trying to recover, you get hit by another.
Rejection is not only when you ask a lady/ guy out and they tell you some cooked up story and you feel rejected. It’s more than that, but it hurts more when it has to do with our life work, our emotions, career, profession, etc.
Think of that time when you tried picking up a child or carrying them in your arms and they give the body language of not wanting to be carried especially by you but they turn open hands to another person next to you. Hurts right? Or that one time you tried unlocking your phone with the same finger print that has been registered already and you get rejected up to three times (😂) — “Wahala”.
I am glad that as you are reading this little piece, your mind can relate through some scenarios of rejection you have had or having at the moment.
We have billions of people with several beliefs and perspective to life and my input in this article is one out of million other ideas on how to deal with rejection. Some of this methods may not be accepted by my readers which I understand and I also do not claim this methods will be the most efficient ways to dealing with rejection but my two cent in this article will help so many people as well. Hence below are some of the methods I recommend on how to deal with rejection.
Dealing with rejection starts first with accepting your current reality. When people plan and prepare for a particular result, their imaginations take over and gradually with each step and process carried out, those imaginations become a reality. When we do not get the results we anticipated, it’s recommendable that we snap out of our imaginations into the current reality and forge ahead with alternative plans (another imagination).
After the pandemic came onboard and some people lost their jobs, their financial expenses have still not come to terms with the fact that they do not have a source of income again and they need to be watchful with how they spend. The same illustrations can be met with rejection — accepting that you have been turned down in this area and rising back to your feet as soon as possible.
For some, it is hard to accept that they have been rejected. Perhaps because they were convinced that their plans was the best. An athlete train for almost 4 years only to run a minute race and guess what? when they fall on the track, they do not stay on the ground waiting to be picked up. No! they rise immediately to finish the race cause it is never over until the last lap. You did not study a 4/5 year course, sharpened your skills only to be rejected at your first interview and you resort to being beaten down by defeat. No! you have to accept immediately and move on.
2. Review & Feedbacks
Accepted your reality? good. Now reflect and take feedbacks for improvement purposes. Facing rejection does not translate to meaning you were never good or your plans wasn’t valid enough. It simply means there are areas in your plans that needs to be worked upon/ improve. Hence, accept feedbacks and carry out both self reflections and surveys from others. You go for an interview and they reject you, ask for feedbacks in areas they feel you didn’t do well or need to improve. Yes! ask them why you were not considered for the role. Ask them why your plans didn’t fly. It helps you see loopholes that you were oblivious to initially.
3. Map out Development plans
The next suggested idea is to work on those ares you got feedback on. Do you need to undertake more courses, do you need to go for a training, do you need to be mentored? Do this intentionally. Map out a plan for improvement and development, map out evaluation periods, get a partner or mentor to checkmate your progress and be open to creative ideas on how to improve.
It is important to note that dealing with rejection for some may be more emotional than logical. Some are more emotionally attached to every event in their lives (positive & negative) that they need more than the above suggested ways to dealing with rejection. If you are more emotional, I suggest you talk to someone close to you, someone you can trust and relay all your heartaches to. Not necessarily a love partner, it could be a friend, a colleague you regard as a very close friend, it could be a mentor, parent etc. Just get someone and pour out your worries. Remember the goal is to share how you feel in view of becoming better after such conversations. If you ever enter into a dialogue with anyone and you feel less of yourself or even worse than how you were, that person is probably not the right person to reach out to.
I hope this piece was helpful to you. Feel free to share your comments and areas where I can also improve.
Thanks for reading and do well to share to a loved one.