BILLING

“The places we never find ourselves. Dinner or date, never marked as a spot.

Quiet indeed, but surely was never for us.”

“Here, you all stand, upon the very soil you rejected by words. Unavoidable, inescapable moments of time. Too bad it came faster than the flight. But yes, here I am rejoicing I don’t get to pay a dime.”

Remarkable showdown of tears. “Oh whao, are these drama for real or just another role playing to bill.”

— The Graveyard by Solanke Olamilekan, 2019.

  • Excess greetings regularly comes with a price. Make it short.
  • Surprise call especially after many years is tricky and hence, suspicious.
  • Stop uploading pictures of yourself in expensive environment even if it’s a #fakelife . Take more pictures in ghetto areas. Thank me later.
  • If you must upload those pictures, Mute/ block all them billing agent from seeing your stats and uploads. Thank God for privacy settings.
  • If she gives you shocking attention, names and sweet zones, Jaaaaaaapa.
  • If she switches your zone from “bro” to “baby,” Block her or end friendship there immediately. Don’t say I didn’t warn you o.
  • Live in a manageable apartment, buy a low budget car and don’t flaunt your wealth too much.
  • Hey boo please I need to pay my school fees and the money on me is not complete, can you send me some mo... — send her parents phone number and all her uncles contact info.
  • She arranges business meeting with you, at the restaurant she begins to order food! — break your ATM card.
  • Don’t spend excessively on whom you have no promising connection with.
  • Shoot your shot, but don’t throw away your guns also. BE WISE
  • Live simple and not too flamboyant a lifestyle.
  • Enjoy your life in silent with minimal friends.
  • “I can’t download the video because my sub will soon finish” please sub for me na. — Off your phone for a week.
  • Ahn ahn it’s month end already o. You promised we will visit Dubai this weekend na! *with those devilish eyes of cuteness* — like nasty, be blind deaf and dumb for at least a month.
  • My phone is giving issues! — dust your iPhone away and just buy a 3310 for your use at least for two months.
  • Am bored, come and take me out na! — OFF READ RECEIPT FOR A YEAR. If they call, pick up at your own risk.
  • I feel like taking ice cream oh! — bro you are deaf remember? You didn’t hear anything.
  • Keep people of the same financial capacity around. That way, broke friends won’t bother asking you for a dime.
  • Buy pure water when eating outside. *winks*
  • Zip your mouth. Don’t share every promotion details especially in churches.
  • Fear God and Fear men also. Not everyone is actually human. (IyKyk)
  • Say NO where necessary. No one can emotionally blackmail you to inconveniencing yourself for their luxurious life style.
  • Stay woke. Ji! MASUN.

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Solanke Lekan

Solanke Lekan

185 Followers

Hi there, You got all the way here cause something caught your interest. Whatever it is, I am here to find out with you. My words are born from thoughts.